So your birthday is in September ey? Now you feeling kind of special. You feel kind of like Michael Jackson, you must be Beyoncé or Eazy E? That you were birthed in some extra celestial way. That you have nine pairs of hands and feet. That you were born for greatness and you are a favor to the world. You probably think September was carefully designed and made into the nine month just for you. Without you, there is no future; the world’s existence is in your hands and we won’t survive if you were born in January or May. Guess what? No one cares. Absolutely no one.

September babies are so many, you would think their parents created a Whatsapp group to agree on terms of conception. Now that I think about it, they probably did. Fifteen out of ten people were born on this month. And they are letting everyone know what’s going on with their lives. Screw keeping calm it’s my birthday, don’t keep calm it’s my birthday, digehota it’s my birthday, buy me Mursik it’s my birthday and many others I choose not to indulge in. These minions are everywhere and we get to hear them year after year.  All I can say is Keep Calm Only Your Mother Cares.


The rest of the babies from the 11 months, don’t be black-sheeped, people care about you even more. Without you September wouldn’t even be a month. We were all born the same way apart from Jesus. But He is our friend and more people celebrate His birthday compared to your September 8th birthday. You don’t see Him flooding our timeline or putting up His face on the cover page of the Bible every December. Heck! He doesn’t even adjust His status. He is the real cool kid. Or man. Not sure right now.

Being the queen of parties, it will only be right if I wish these dimwits a very fruitful month. Happy Birthday and May you enjoy all that this month has to give in plenty. I wish you happiness, I wish you money, I wish your Instagram account gets hacked and deleted and your Whatsapp accounts expire. You are all loved and appreciated, say my name baby Diaaazzzz (chuckles)



  1. September babies should take a chill pill…they are too many and they all want to fuss to feel special. But happy birthday to all of them.


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