New year New you era has just begun. The phase whereby all humans mostly under the age of 30 feel some sort of conviction to redefine themselves and social media is their greatest platform to table all their cocaine-snorted reformation.

Honey child if you need a new year to make any type of grand changes in your life then you are as dumb as the girlfriend who exposed the Thika heist. There are more resolutions in 2018 than the days in 2018. Who is fooling who? You are still the 2008 version of yourself and you are here parading all the changes you shall apply this year. Go change your calendar young stud.

The number of friendships that have ended on 1st are more than the bottles EABL has supplied. Making beer your constant friend Aisee!!!! All drunkards only know one line from the Bible(youve already recited it in low tone as you read this) that they use to support their lifestyle. May Jesus change your wine drinking days into the water that you preach.

All those busy telling others how blessed they are on facebook, may your bank accounts and health be in plenty like your status updates. All those blessings you’ve received in 2017 but none that you’ve blessed even with your absence, kazi ni kuitisha password ya Wi-Fi ukifika kwa wenyewe. God is seeing you.

Forwarded threatening messages, this is your time. This 2018, may he who sits down and formulates messages of threats and conditions be exposed!! Some of you have been resilient in sending these texts in fear of missing out on your blessings or not going to heaven but you are still where you were in terms of nil account and mshwari debts. See your life. Don’t you be blatantly stupid that you think clicking like on ‘you will receive a miracle in 10 minutes’ yet you have not paid tithe in ten years will get you leverage. It’s time to wake up MA FREN.

I do not dispute change, as a matter of fact I echo it in all its glamour. Human beings are inclined to change, not necessarily improvement but who cares. If you feel the need to post about what is so personal for the whole world, I bet your intention is to get more attention and will put minimal vigour in achieving the said goals. Write in your diary, nobody cares what you will do in 2018.

I do pray for a prosperous 2018, considering all the lives lost last year and all the businesses closed. I pray for good health and wellness to all my readers and beyond. I also pray for better social media updates. Not slipping my mind, those who spent their entire December salary during the festivities and forgot January has 91 days. Amen brethren!




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